How to control anger is a very important issue which people should talk about and if you are dealing with this problem then you should find a solution to solve it because it can also destroy your personal life. Don’t let anger bubble away, because then it can cause eruption. Anger will never solve anything, it will only destroy it. It will cloud your judgement, damage your relationship with friends and family and also sometimes destroys your faith from others.
Anger is a tremendous problem and the reason behind this is that our mind is not in our control. Then we do some things which we later regret. Many people want to control it, but they don’t know how to control anger? And trust me, there is no need to spend money on it only you need to do is to bring some changes in yourself.
First of all, you must know about what type of aggressive person you are. There are three main types of anger which will help you to understand how you can react in a situation that makes us aggressive.
• Passive Aggression:
It means when a person doesn’t show their negative feelings directly to the other person. They use indirect ways to express their feelings.
• Open Aggression:
When a person becomes so aggressive that they become aggressive both verbally and physically then it is known as open aggression. They sometimes hurt themselves and lash out in anger.
• Assertive Anger:
When a person thinks before speaking or telling it to the other person and is confident about what they are saying.
Now, after knowing about the types of anger, you must keep in mind these tips and then you will see that how your anger problem is getting solved!
How to control anger or what can we do to calm our temper?
These type of questions would always come to your mind when you realize your mistake after yelling at someone when you are angry. But don’t worry here are 9 expert tips which help you to maintain your anger management:
1. What makes you mad? Identify these situations and try to avoid:
It is the most important step you need to follow if you want to control or maintain your anger management because if you will not identify what situations or circumstances are really just take your annoyance to another level and you lash out, then you are never going to be able to control it. Once you identified the situations that make you super pissed, upset, or angry then, you can try not to engage or not get yourself in those situations. You must try to avoid those situations and just let go of them.
There are so many possible situations on which you can get angry or get pissed off, but you must learn to avoid it.
We will make this point clear by giving you an example:
Imagine that If you are at a party and you are enjoying it with your girlfriend, just the two of you, but suddenly your partner’s friend come there and your girlfriend’s attention get’s transfered from you to her friends. It’s annoying and you might feel alone even if you are with so many people. Due to this situation, you would feel jealous and you get angry, upset, or lose control. So, in this situation, the only thing you can do is talk to your girl and just simply tell her that “your behavior is making me sick, and I am feeling so lonely” and you must try to make her understand your problem and try to fix it rather then lashing out on her. It will do nothing but will ruin your relationship with your girlfriend.
2. Identify the anger or feeling as soon as it starts and stop the escalation:
When we get angry then our temper gradually starts increasing and escalates very quickly. Due to this, we lose our control over consciousness. But, if you can identify this feeling, the feeling you get when you start to get intensely angry or upset! Then at that very moment, you can deal with it, because escalation is that thing which makes you mad and loses your control.
Remember it’s ultimately about control, you are controlling your emotions. This is the fact that you can’t necessarily control how you react to certain things but you can control the escalation of that anger. This tip will help you to control your anger management and to stay calm.
3. Practice relaxation techniques which give you some time before you react:
It is the technique that helps you to manage your escalation by just inhaling and exhaling the air. This helps your mind to stay calm and allowing yourself a little bit of time before you just react to a particular situation.
4. Think before you speak:
It is very difficult to apply this tip because you think something like harsh words in your mind when you are angry, but it just wants to come out. But the main issue is that once you said those words to someone then you can’t take it back. Harsh words a lot of times can hurt people much more deeply and intensely as compared to physical violence.
For example: Saying something horrible to somebody a lot of times is worse than getting punched in the face. So, you must think before you speak as it is very important because sometimes in anger you say words which you didn’t mean to say it.
5. Do anger management exercise to stay calm, and for stress reduction:
Do some physical exercise because exercise and physical exertion is amazing regarding stress reduction. A lot of times if you find with the stress building up, and you don’t have a release while this a lot of times when you tend to explode emotionally.
For example: You can play guitar or listen melodious songs.
6. Talk about the issues when they arise:
If you would simply have a conversation and address the issues as they arise then you will never get to that escalation point, or get angry.
7. Use your humour to defuse intense situations:
When it is all possible then use your humour to defuse intense situations, but you need to be careful because sarcasm a lot of times if someone is in a heated mood like about to get upset, and then if you start throwing sarcasm then, people can take it personally. But humour is a great way to defuse situations as it brings down your intensity notch.
8. Take a timeout from the things that are bothering you:
If there is a situation or a person that is upsetting you and causing you to get frustrated and angry then, you need to take a timeout, just remove yourselve from that person or that situation to give yourselves some breathing room.
Decompress during the timeout to see things more clearly and rationalize your mind to stay calm.
9. Know when you need the help and take help of a therapist:
There are groups of anger management classes and therapists. If you are having a tough time or when it becomes very difficult for you to handle your anger, or emotions, it might be time for you to speak to somebody who is professional because a lot of times we don’t have the tools to help ourselves.
Anger management therapy is a very good thing, just don’t think it in a negative way. It also helps you to lead your mind’s concentration in the right, and productive way.